I spent so much of my childhood looking for my place in the big ol world.

All I knew back then was that I was way way too much. I was too much curls, too much loud, too much energy, too much curious, too much knowing myself, too much need. I experienced a whole lot of cynicism, doubt, "whoa there little lady!" and "can't you just go look it up?" or "who do you think you are?", etc ad nauseam. I craved engagement, I longed for community, and I wanted to be loved for the expression of myself that I was at that moment. At any moment.

In any case, I internalized that it was my job to fix it. I needed to figure out what was wrong with me and make it better so that I would be accepted and finally get the connection, community, and engagement that I longed for. Because I wasn't getting any of that information from school. I was only told repeatedly that I was "too much" and to memorize my algebra equations.

What spoke to me, always, were songs. They seemed to hold these magic little nuggets of golden truths. I would obsess over the nuances of double entendres, internal rhyme schemes, and emotional flow. The lyrics were my scripture and the melodies were my spiritual guides.

I ended up choosing to study The Old Testament and New Testament and Greek Mythology because I recognized the themes of these beliefs in mainstream media, literature, and in my favorite songs. But I chose to approach them from my distance.

I loved this kind of "schooling" because it was the church of my choosing. I wasn't forced to learn a new belief that I didn't subscribe to. I wasn't being told how to think. I was choosing what resonated with me through the lens of lyricism, and I wanted to follow THAT path into the deep, dark woods.

New Mythologies is my contribution to a possible way of being. These are my stories. They aren't scripture, so I'm not going to call them "the Book of Zisman" or anything, but I am sharing them here in case they resonate with anyone who thinks like me or was maybe told that they were too much, or too little, or too....anything.

Thanks for listening to my New Mythologies.